Those of you, who own a pet, a dog, cat or horse, know, there is no time schedule, that will make them happy and leaves a lot of sleep to you. But what we get in return, all the love and the understanding, is just the best, isn’t it?
Hera and I started some years back our label, selling houses and stuff people could need. Just recently our skills developed and got better, stronger, so we could build some really nice houses and stables. But my blog wasn’t my blog, if I wasn’t telling a story, and I will not start here, leaving you high and dry. Usually I write about adventures, love, broken hearts and shadow-work (the exploring of the self and own psyche). So let’s do that!
… at the stables, when you are finished mugging out. All horses are fed and groomed, the buzz of the day is fading and the months are drawn to the dimmed lamps. Late at night, when you are happy with your days work, content with who you are, you might realise, that these moments, are the ones shaping your self, your life and your future, because they give you the time, to breathe, to explore and to eventually fall in love with yourself.
Loving yourself is so highly essential to being loved by others. Me taking time to learn how to love myself, got me to where I am now, to who I am now. I love my art and my work with Hera. I am falling for someone rather special – not saying too much here, things are still fresh. So yes, these moments, late at night, when you look back at the day, at what you have accomplished to make yourself happy, and others. These are the special ones.
So imagine what happened, last minute, my busines partner Hera Greek and I were invited to the annual Home and Garden ExPo.
We had 6 weeks for a unique item, that will be auctioned off at the end of the ExPo. And we needed a few new realeases!! Two chics with RL fulltime jobs and 6 weeks time.
Fuck my life! – But we did it, we made it, and now I am stuck to blog about it, oddly enough. So I could tell you about the 3D textures I made by hand, or the many hours Hera spent in Blender, meshing every little detail. BUT – let the pictures talk.
Heartland Cabin – Unique (Auction item)
Heartland Cabin – original (you can simply buy it – just 27 LI)
Black Forest Stable – NEW REALEASE (3 different versions Normal, draft and small horses)
What can I say, after many years of on and off, and on again – we did it. Kantows and I finally tied the knot, did the deed, paid the ultimate price, and NO, we didn’t die – haha – we got hitched. It was the perfect little SL wedding. Great music, amazing, friends, no lag, and totally the way, we wanted it to be. There is not much I can say about that day… the 23rd of May 2020 – but I can share with you, the logfiles. Also, I love to read them every few weeks.
The amazing location at where peacefull waters flow, a small island, in a tiny hidden bay, right in front of a water fall.
Kantows Silth swallows a last time and takes a deep breath. Xsenia Silverfall almost runs over the bridge, just to stop and to take a deep breath, a broad smile on her face. Dakota S. Vasco grins “So Beautiful” she sais. Jaspar Recreant smiles “lovely” is all he can say. Xsenia Silverfall stops at every row and grins to the guests, shortly waving to everyone, before stopping and gazing at Kantows, her groom and very soon future husband. Ashqa is grinning wide … like some breed of idiot surely. Kantows Silth is nodding to Xsenia. He seems very proud to have such a beautiful bride. He holds his hand out to her. Xsenia Silverfall takes a deep breath, makes a few more steps and places her hand in his, walking up the last part to the altar. Dakota S. Vasco is super excited. Xsenia Silverfall chuckles “yeah call him hubby for me” she sais to her sister and grins silly. Kantows Silth is taking in his place and grins over to WhiteTiger. WhiteTiger waves back “you two looks gorgeous” he shouts from the last row of chairs. Kantows Silth: “So…” he exhales and looks as if he is searching for words…just for a moment there. Xsenia Silverfall takes a deep breath, clings to her bouquet and smiles broadly while gazing almost staring at Kant. Kantows Silth takes her hand and holds it firmly. Before he begins. “Xsenia…” he takes her soft hands into his. “The moment I saw you, standing alone at the lake at night… reminiscing over some deep thought about 8 years ago, I knew I wanted you. It was a pull I couldn´t resist, to simply follow, without any other thought. And I did. I left…and left, trying to figure out what the heck to do with my life. But in the end, I always ended up next to you, by your side. You gave me solize, clearence.. Peace of mind. On your side, I was stronger than ever. I still am. You are the power that drives me forward. And my love for you should shine a light, like a lighthouse guiding you back home, whenever you need it the most. Back into my arms, like we always did. I will give you safety, happiness, all my strength and health. Till I will be no more. For you and our family, I be your rock. Your castle and safehaven. I´ll guard you with my flesh and bones. My blood will be your daily whine.”
He pauses and smiles again “I will be your chillout area, your holiday in every year, your candy center up in the supermarket.” (Sportfreunde Stiller). He Looks deeply into her eyes before he starts to laugh.
Xsenia Silverfall hopes not to crash anytime soon and holds her breath, her hand is trembling. She listens and without even knowing, tears are filling up her eyes and run down her cheeks, still smiling and sniffing. “Shit…” she mumbles and starts giggling. “Thats some tough act to follow… ” Xsenia sais with nervous laughter. Kantows Silth cracks up himself, just a little and puts his forehead against hers. “You remember this one… hm?” Xsenia Silverfall nods and puts the bouquet down, holding his hands almost too tight, her fingers icey. Dakota S. Vasco sniffs. Xsenia Silverfall takes a deep breath. “We both know I am not the romantic one of us… though… Kantows, I could promise you, all the regular stuff, but.. we have been there. And you know it already. Sickness and Health, check! Good and easy or hard times.. check! Well we skipped the poor part, for what it’s worth…” she chuckles full on gittery. “We have been together for almost 8 years… well on and off, but usually more on. The fact, that we are now, here together, is just what had to happen .. somehow.” Kantows Silth laughs out and looks to their friends like: ‘What is she on about now?’ “Eyes up here fellow” Xsenia whispers. “So yes, I love you, I want to be there for you, as I have been during the past years. You are mine, as I am yours. My heart, my soulmate – and to be cheesy my sun and my stars…” she winks cheeky “I know how much you loved the books.” Kantows Silth gazes into her eyes…teary but beautiful as ever. “Almost done” Xsenia sais a bit louder and slightly giggling. “So here, in front of our friends, today, I will promise that I wont be perfect, I will make mistakes, as will you, but that I will do everything possible, to make my crazynes somehow up to you. You are my person, as I am yours. I love you Kant. And now … hand my my ring hubby!” She ends jokingly. Kantows Silth sighs in a growly noisy way “…Damn I love you, too.” He act as if he couldn´t find it, but gets it out of his chestpoket after just a second. He looks at it for a brief moment, before he holds her hand, stroking over the stoft, milky skin of her finger, before setting the ring onto it. “My wife…” Xsenia Silverfall grins and jitters a little, gazing into his eyes, while blinking off some more tears. She gets the ring out from, whereever it was hiding in that dress, and holds his hand, caressing the slightly darker skin with her fingertips. “My husband.. I know you hate hubby…” she puts the ring very much shaking, almost loosing it, over his ring finger. Kantows Silth grins broadly. “I do…” Xsenia Silverfall: “I think we are past the I do part” she whispers Kantows Silth bends down, lets the hand, with the brand new ring, run under her braid onto her neck as he pulls her close to his body and kisses her, for the first time among millions, as his wife. Xsenia Silverfall smiles broadly and wraps her arms around his shoulders, leaning happily into the kiss.
Finally husband and wifey
You can see all the pictures on my flickr, as usual.
While I was pondering and thinking about what to write, I gazed upon my pictures – the ones on my Flickr-Account – and realised, I haven’t done many, while I “just” had my Linden Home. But now, at my new place, I am shooting things like crazy, and not in a weird way with a gun, but in a creative way, with my SL-camera. Well mainly I am shooting myself, still with a camera, and not a gun, I am TOTALLY against suicide, but that is another subject.
Back to the topic, Linden Home against owning land or renting some. For me, I can’t really decide, because I loved my LH. It had two stories, a nice bathroom, everything that was needed. I would have loved a houseboat, but those were gone sooo fast, that it almost looked like a hoax, to everyone who didn’t get one. But there is still another option, premium users can explore. Owning land in Second Life. Uh, ah, many people will run away now, but it has it perks…
For once, you can design your place just as you want it to look like. You can live near the ocean side, on a road, or somewhere deep inland, owning a simple skybox. Everything is possible, and for every purse the right piece of land. Since I love sailing, and open waters, my match was a small lot, at Corsica, right on the ocean edge, with free traveling through the channel and connections of Nautilus right to Blake Sea and from there to Second Norway and Sailors Cove and so much more.
Since I haven’t gotten a LH-Houseboat, I got my own one, and live happily, at my peaceful place. That spot is close to my friends, and nice enough to have friends over for a party. I have my houseboat, my jetties and even a pool-deck, very sweet. Also enough room for a windsurfer and some snuggle-spots.
But enough about my place and how much I am loving it. Back to LH vs owning land. For me, there is probably nothing better as owning land in SL, but if you just want to have a sweet hide out, and no need for rezzing boats, or water close and a lot around you, a Linden Home is just perfect for you. My sister owns a Meadow Brooks Loft and is very happy – she also made it REALLY pretty!
While I am talking about owning land, I need to promote an initiative I really like. #Mainland matters! Since Mainland is the most important part of SL for exploring and actually doing things, we should never forget about it. Often mainland is a patchwork-rug made of ugly skyscrapers, horrible prim-blocks or yellow ban-lines. Those ban-lines are the worst for aviators, but overly aggressive orbs, can be a pain in the ass too, for aviators as well as sailors. #Mainland matters wants to show nice places one can explore, or visit, and also give people a sense of feeling, what they can do with their land, without annoying everyone else. And yes I know, it is yours, the rest should shut up. But Second Life, lives from the coming together, rather as from shitting into people’s faces – and yes I know, many people do that as well.
Linden Home versus owning land, my bottom line: If you want to make nice content – for others – and if you need a connection to other parts of the mainland because of your hobby, may it be sailing, flying or riding a bike, owning your land, is perfect for you. If you “just” need a place to stay, meet with friends or have someone over for the occasionally knock on the door, a LH, old or new, is perfect for you.
Sometimes one needs a break from the online life. My life was almost made of Second Life. Means my first one got way too less attention. So I took a break, a long one. It was hard not to blog any longer, hard to leave friends behind, friends I’ve missed every day. But the close ones knew how important it was for me, to just get back. Fake it until you make it, was the first part of my road. Getting up every day, ignoring the urge to log on and just forget the crap one has to deal with every day.
Two years have passed, and hell those were years. But, I made it out alive, stronger, better. I found myself, I found real life, friends, success. Everything we want in our life. Love and support, a purpose. I wanted to write a happy post, because that is how I feel. Positive thinking has brought me to where I am now, and that is a good place. I know right, that all sounds as if I am convincing myself, but this is just the beginning, everything needs a start.
When I decided, I am strong enough, and I got the time, I logged back on to SL. Friends welcomed me back, were happy to see me. My avatar looked as fabulous as always, and I felt right at home. So after a few days, of getting used to the new stuff, I discovered that being happy in general, helps a lot.
Going out sailing was real fun again, and after a short while, I even met new people and had new fun. Better fun. Nothing is more lonely, but a lonely Second Life. I could go on and on about it, but I will have some pictures, telling the story.
First day of sailing, I just needed some time off, to enjoy one of my favourite spots at St. Martin Rainbow Cruise-Marina.
Time with Jaspar at the Vik Marina. Uggo outdid himself and made a really great spot, to start a trip or just to hang out for a coffee. Jasp craved a long black, I know that sounds somewhat funny, I got myself a huge Latte. Everyone who speaks German, knows how funny these two sound alike, and I will not share!
After Haneru Qi and I met, we went on several dates. This was the second one, and we hit it off. Great trip on my SweetPea and some sweet moments, filled with conversation and laughter.
I will try to keep my positive attitude and write about things, in a bit different way. So welcome back life, welcome back Xsenia in Second Life!
I write this blog not just to show you nice places in SL, or to help you find new things you can do with your Second Life, but to walk into a club. I also write this blog, to process things that happened, and your comments, usually make me smile, and I am happy for any participation. What I want to write about today, is a difficult subject to me, since I can understand it on one side, but I also don’t think it is something one should support.
“Where is the line?” I am asking that question now, and will get into it right away. Those of you, who are reading my blog frequently know, that I met someone. We are both taking things slow, and simply enjoy the time we have together, since it is rare due to our RL duties. I have a medium sized online footprint, as have most bloggers. Facebook, several pages providing the blog (Tumblr, WordPress, and Blogger) and also my Flickr, to support all the pictures I share with you.
Since this man, and I are friends, I helped him to decorate his place, to make it a home. If I do something like that, I usually try to understand the style that person enjoys most, and look up several items, so they can pick from. Basically like a personal shopper, just for homes. While we were applying finishing touches, someone teleported right into the situation, when he hugged me in front of his new BBQ-grill.
I didn’t think much about it, how often do people teleport somewhere to see, their friends have moved, or they logged in after a long while and still had their home point at a place, someone else has rented in time. How could I have known what that hug started. It was like an avalanche shit-storm, I guess no one would have ever expected.
We were about to leave the place, and just a few moments afterwards, someone wrote me a private message. I didn’t understand much about it, but mainly I was stealing someone’s man, and they would wish me good luck?! It bummed the evening a bit, but again, I didn’t think much about it. I had a calm night, and a nice morning, not knowing what was coming for me.
During the day, someone I don’t know, wrote a comment on my blog. That is nothing uncommon, but this message was somewhat weird. Someone told me to think twice about my friend, or spending time with him, accusing him of cheating and so on. I was shocked, and surprised, and honestly don’t think that should be anyone’s business. In the end I marked the message as spam and went on with my life, for about an hour, because someone showed real stalker-potential.
The same person, who messaged me the other day, started liking on Flickr all my pics of him (my friend). But that is not the end of it, she also tried to message me on Facebook. I have to admit, such a behaviour creeped me a bit out. But after I logged in on Second Life, I got another message, in combination with a huge log file. Stalker-potential meets psychotic behaviour.
So back to my earlier question, where is the line? Where jealousy stops and stalking does begin? Is it really so hard for people to be happy for others? Is it appropriate behaviour, to show this way ones affection, AFTER breaking up with someone? What is your thought about it, please comment.
Here I am, trying to find a good subject to write about. Something deep. Something thoughtful. But you know what, there is nothing I want to write about. I am happy, and when I am happy, my brain is filled with happy thoughts, unicorns and rainbows. Ok maybe not that horrible, but close to.
You might ask yourself, what the heck happened? Well you probably know that moment when you meet someone and everything just fits. And I don’t mean in a butterflies in the belly kind of situation. But someone who just seems to get you. Someone who keeps you on the toes and challenges you, without straining your nerves.
Thanks to Dakota, my dear sister, I met such a special someone. And we have had the luck to spend our day together. Lots of laughing, agreeing and understanding was going on. And even if we disagreed, we understood the point of view of each other.
I use to get personal, so I will do that again here. I get easily bored by people. I think it is straining to act as if one is interested in something, just because the other one enjoys it. I get bored by people who don’t have their own mind, style or thoughts. It is so rare to meet someone who has their own opinion and sticks to it. Consequent… even if it means to follow the wrong path to the end. (Not that bad but you get the idea.)
After lots of chatting yesterday, came more chatting, no “Wham, Bam, thank you Ma’am” but little tangencies, soft smiles and talking. But yes, I think it is the little things, to make a day special, and we spent a part of that special day, on my Sweet Pea, sailing the Blake Sea-Continent, finishing with the Galaxy. It was nothing big, nothing amazing but still.. special.
Why I had to write this, I don’t know, somethings, just need to be said. So, thank you Thorim, for such a wonderful day and evening. – By the way, doesn’t he looks gorgeous?! ;-D
My latest entries have been a bit… heavy on the mind, so I thought, I will pick up something I enjoyed very much during the last week. I would say we all, but I have the sad feeling, what I am going to say now, doesn’t counts for everyone. So I rather say >I< have this special someone, everybody else has no chance against. And I am talking here about my attention. My sister Dakota, is that person for me. If she is online, and has the time, I am all hers, no matter who else is online. She is, has been and always will be my priority number one – sorry boys.
As she is my number one and soulmate, I enjoyed my last week a lot, since she had the time, to spend it with me. We both don’t like to just sit around, well… we do if we got someone to talk about – hehe. But since we like to do some things, we had some nice adventures together.
Her rezday wasn’t that long ago, so I decided to gift her a horse. But not just some horse, no one of the amazing Bento Waterhorse Riding Horses. (If you don’t have one yet, go and get one!) So we went to the stables, and had a nice long trail ride, all over the Calas Galadhon-Park. You can imagine, two girls like us, we had a lot to talk and laugh about, not to mention, how much we loved that afternoon.
A few days later, I don’t want to bother you with every detail, we managed to go out sailing. But not just sailing, no! But flying and foiling with the Flying Shadow all across the Blake Sea. I love almost all sailing boats, provided by the great designers living in Dutch Harbour, but the FS is and has been always my absolute favourite. And while I was managing the main sail, the jib, the spinnaker and the daggers, she managed to flawlessly skid from one side to the other, if necessary.
Great outcome, we didn’t keel over once! YAY! Not as if that would happen to me anyhow, but still YAY! Our destination was Sires Isle, where we stopped, and switched to her Bandit IF. We both love it but seriously, it is not just a great boat, but hers, probably the one with the best overall paintjob in Second Life! Or that is me talking, as her sister and probably biggest fan and supporter.
Someone was playing something nice on the guitar, but when he left, Dakota thought, dang, I want music, so she picked her guitar, and serenaded us, until our time ran out. Probably one of my loveliest afternoons ever. I am still humming ….
For me something weird happened. I don’t know who can relate, but I’ve heard several times, that I would be dominant. One time, someone even asked me directly, if I was a dominatrix. Thought that was hilarious, since I wore a white silk dress, with lace and my hair open. But that wasn’t what I was aiming at.
No, my question is, how get people the impression someone might be ‘dominant’ I will use that word a bit freely, as they did, to keep it easy. Can we say, a person is dominant, just because they are competent or have a certain grade of authority? Can we call a person dominant, just because they are confident and know what they want?
I have always struggled with labelling people like that, maybe one of the reasons why I struggle with people labelling me. From a psychologic point of view, it makes sense to label people, because we need those labels to understand the world, without getting crazy. It is a way our brains use to process information.
No how do I get to my headline? My question is, why so many people avoid so called ‘dominant’ persons. Why are they afraid of them? Do they feel insecure or weak next to them, to us?
Yesterday I had an interesting conversation with a rather new friend of mine, about exactly that subject. He brought up the thesis, that if someone has trouble to talk to people freely in Real Life, they will have the same issues in their Second Life. I was so bold to spin it a bit further and I think, that is gets even worse in SL. But why is that so?
This is me asking you, asking for your opinions and comments. Why are people afraid to talk to someone in Second Life. Dominant or not, why all that fear? One can look as hot as one wants. One sits in the safety of one’s own living room, bed room, or wherever else the PC or Mac is placed.
I do understand, we all take our fears with us, in one way or another. For me I can say, I am afraid of heights, of people in general, of insects and just about everything else one can imagine. But I have those fears irl. In Second Life I love skydiving, absolutely nothing would get me to jump out of a plane, well maybe if it’s crashing, and jumping would save my life… . Since I have my dog I am better with people, because I have to talk to strangers all the time. I love looking at spiders in game, don’t put one for real next to me.
And I don’t consider myself as special, I think I am pretty common. So what is it, making people not talk to others? Laziness? Weird situated shyness? Please fill me in, I am in deadly need of answers! But to end on a high note, without leaving you up high and dry in irons. Now and then, once in a while, I get lucky, and meet someone, who isn’t afraid of talking, and those people, make up for great conversations.
What can I say, I had lots to do in my real life, so the second life was cut a bit short, and with it all the friends I made there. It is sad, but it happens. What I want to write about today, is as old as the time, but still surprises me, whenever I am confronted with it.
Just to mention some points, people still seem to know nothing about. Persons who play PC-games are all nerds, have no real life, and never see the daylight. Persons who play games like Second Life have no real life, and no real friends…
I don’t understand those stigmata. Nerds in general are simply people who are great with PCs and who do “nerdy” stuff like playing Pen and Paper games, doing roleplay and all sorts of those things. The Big Bang Theory is a perfect show off for that “stigmata”.
The second one is the stigmata Second Life. I for once have friends all over the world. I can’t jump on a plane every weekend and fly to Australia to meet one of my dearest friends. Hence, we can use Second Life to get some sort of feeling to be close with each other and to spent our time together. The same goes for my best friend in real life. She lives in Ulm while I live close to Berlin. We have met several times over the years, and we are simply soulmates, we have known it from the first moment, and we managed it through all the easy and rough waters, a relationship can offer.
But with the distance it becomes hard to feel close, and again, Second Life helps with that. Who hasn’t felt lonely, and better, once another avatar hugs yours? Sitting with her at my place, chatting on the couch and snuggling as friends, sweetens up my weekends, since we both have less and less time with our busy real lifes.
What I am aiming at with this article, is not pointing fingers, but hoping to spread the word, and to educate those, who might not know it yet, or who have troubles to understand. Because just being a nerd, or playing SL, doesn’t mean one has no life… it actually can mean one has a very rich life, with more friends, as time on our hands.
Xsenias 