Communication or Commu-NO-cation

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For me something weird happened. I don’t know who can relate, but I’ve heard several times, that I would be dominant. One time, someone even asked me directly, if I was a dominatrix. Thought that was hilarious, since I wore a white silk dress, with lace and my hair open. But that wasn’t what I was aiming at.

No, my question is, how get people the impression someone might be ‘dominant’ I will use that word a bit freely, as they did, to keep it easy. Can we say, a person is dominant, just because they are competent or have a certain grade of authority? Can we call a person dominant, just because they are confident and know what they want?

I have always struggled with labelling people like that, maybe one of the reasons why I struggle with people labelling me. From a psychologic point of view, it makes sense to label people, because we need those labels to understand the world, without getting crazy. It is a way our brains use to process information.

No how do I get to my headline? My question is, why so many people avoid so called ‘dominant’ persons. Why are they afraid of them? Do they feel insecure or weak next to them, to us?

Yesterday I had an interesting conversation with a rather new friend of mine, about exactly that subject. He brought up the thesis, that if someone has trouble to talk to people freely in Real Life, they will have the same issues in their Second Life. I was so bold to spin it a bit further and I think, that is gets even worse in SL. But why is that so?

This is me asking you, asking for your opinions and comments. Why are people afraid to talk to someone in Second Life. Dominant or not, why all that fear? One can look as hot as one wants. One sits in the safety of one’s own living room, bed room, or wherever else the PC or Mac is placed.

I do understand, we all take our fears with us, in one way or another. For me I can say, I am afraid of heights, of people in general, of insects and just about everything else one can imagine. But I have those fears irl. In Second Life I love skydiving, absolutely nothing would get me to jump out of a plane, well maybe if it’s crashing, and jumping would save my life… . Since I have my dog I am better with people, because I have to talk to strangers all the time. I love looking at spiders in game, don’t put one for real next to me.

And I don’t consider myself as special, I think I am pretty common. So what is it, making people not talk to others? Laziness? Weird situated shyness? Please fill me in, I am in deadly need of answers! But to end on a high note, without leaving you up high and dry in irons. Now and then, once in a while, I get lucky, and meet someone, who isn’t afraid of talking, and those people, make up for great conversations.

– A “disturbing” look into Xsenia’s thoughts

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Decisions…

This last week was hard, since I had to make some hard calls for me own peace. I found myself in a situation, in wich keep on going would have made me more sad and unhappy, as ending things for good, no matter how hard it is. It was one of those weeks, where I had to turn to myself, and search for my own feelings, and not keep on trying to make someone else happy.

Some would say how egoistic, but sometimes, being egoistic is the only thing that keeps us alive, or at least sane.. or better sane ish.

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I love sailing, wind sailing or using a motor boat, it can be both fun, and amazes me always. It makes me forget about all the stress, I just leave it at the shore, and don’t look back. Let the wind do the work, and not just freshening up my sails, but also my mood. I haven’t had that much lately, so I so have to change that!

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We do have some nice institutions in SL, made by players for other players. We have several Coast Guards, taking care of lost vehicles, lost persons on high sea, or simply to help out if someone has a question. Some do a lot more, some don’t but they are there for us. I was part of one of these Coast Guards for over 2,5 years, and always loyal. Even after the latest hick up, when most of the members left, Jasp and I stayed, wanted to help out, to get the party started, or in that case, to keep it going.

It is sad, if you don’t feel welcome anymore after all these years, and in the end, I jumped through all the hoops they tossed at me, I had to ask myself, do I really want this? I was in it for the RP, but there was no roleplay left, and on my last day, the Admiral told me, it was no RP group anymore. As sad as it was, as much as it hurts, I had to make a decision. So I left. An era is over, but I feel relieved.

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Jasp, to take my mind off of things, took me for a coffee afterwards, to the Brook Hill Airfield. It is an amazing nice place, with a very pretty Airport Cafe and Bar. So far the most prettiest airport I ever visited! So to everyone how loves flying in SL, go ahead and check it out. I for once will now go to my beach, stack my VCG uniforms and give them a nice burn. 🙂

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“It’s not hard to decide what you want your life to be about. What’s hard, she said, is figuring out what you’re willing to give up in order to do the things you really care about.”
― Shauna Niequist, Bittersweet: Thoughts on Change, Grace, and Learning the Hard Way

I found a new job for me!

One sunny day, my sister and I had a cruise to St. Martin, we almost stumbled over a member of the Virtual Coast Guard – VCG. It didnt took him much time, and finally I joined up.

And enlisting was the best thing I could do, cuz I met HIM – my partner in crime, and shopping boats and choppers, the best bestie ever! *kisses and waves with a pacifer*

Thats how it always ended, me half naket and soaking wet, he paying for all the coffee!!

And sometimes we just saw really awesome things. Here a huge tank-ship!